Jill Egizii Jan 25, 2012

Just A Dad From Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

Too Much Discussion To Be Unaware

Never, never, never give up!

On Jill Egizii's Parental Alienation Radio podcast this month the question was asked, "What is it that causes a parent to alienate a child with all of the information out there about how damaging it is to children?" Toronto divorced dad and lawyer, Brian Ludmer, says adults who align children against their own family are driven by different things. When you go to court, try to find out what is making your co-parent want to align your children. Whatever the cause, they are being driven by forces that are probably not amenable to moral persuasion or education. There is so much material out there in every country around the world, that it is getting tougher and tougher for anyone to say they were unaware - but that doesn't mean they will stop. They really only understand the use of power.

Here are Brian's five possible motivators for alienators. They're afraid of sharing the children. Maybe they're just out and out angry. Maybe they want child support and a preponderance of parenting time. Maybe they get married and give the kids to the new step-parent. They probably view the targeted parent as a danger to them and they are unable to see the children as anything but an extension of themselves, therefore the targeted parent must be a danger to their children. They have a poor view of the targeted parent and are protecting their children. They often have their own reality, that we can't reach.

Brian gave incredible advice about parental alienation. If you are a targeted parent, you will find hope and legal advice by listening to the radio show linked at the bottom of this post. Here are my three favorite tidbits. There are 5-10 major developmental tasks of a child that are not happening in this state of parental alienation. If there was bonding between 3-7 years, then there still is bonding, but they're confused, and trapped. You can still reach them. They're conflicted, and not acting rationally, but the love is not gone. These children are being ripped apart and do not have a healthy future.

Professor Ed Kruk of the University of British Columbia has found the minimum parenting time required to prevent marginalization to be forty percent! These are lifetime memories that the alienating parent is conspiring to take away from their child.

The best thing you can do is reconnect with your children. The worst thing that can happen is you never try.

www.blogtalkradio.com

Last year 22 nations participated in the 6th Annual International Parental Alienation & Bubbles of Love Day. Only 89 days left till the 7th Annual International Parental Alienation Event.