Something Else To Talk About

How Growing Up Changed

Last week we were talking about role models for kids and about schools. These two ideas come together in Chapter 6: Setting an Example of Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legagcy Of Divorce. It talks about how the children of divorce in the study were survivors, who often had to raise themselves. Many found loving partners and became successful, protective parents. By comparison, adults raised in intact families have been to "marriage school" alongside their academic learning. By the time they reach adulthood, they figure they're as prepared as they will ever be to build their own family.

Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. She asked them to tell her about the intimate details of their lives, which they did with remarkable candor. Having earned their trust, Wallerstein was rewarded with a deeply moving portrait of each of their lives as she followed them from childhood, through their adolescent struggles, and into adulthood. Wallerstein offers us the only close-up study of divorce ever conducted--a unique report that will change our fundamental beliefs about divorce and offer new hope for the future.

The world is changing quickly and we are trying to educate our children about families and work lives that even next week may be a little different than now.

Wallerstein's claim that children experience divorce very differently than adults, fits well with the discussion about listening to children's views, giving them a sense of control and of being part of our community. It also fits well with Dr. Gordon Neufeld's call for youth, who are often focused on peers, to find broader sources of not only information, but contact, security and warmth. This is not only a reasonable thing to say to our youth, it's exciting! And you can see Abbotsford teachers preparing to spread the word. Countries all around the world are changing their approach to education and family.

Only 90 days left till International Parental Alienation Awareness Day.