Most Revered Doctors And Experts

Just A Dad From Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

Dr. Kathleen Helps Abbotsford

Dr. Reay fights the PA war.

Happy Feb 2 Groundhog Day. In Canada, Wiarton Willie, a groundhog that lives in Wiarton, Ontario, came out of his hole and seeing nothing scary left the impression we will have an early spring, with crocuses and cherry blossoms. Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog that lives in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvannia, USA came out, saw a scary shadow, predicting 6 more weeks of winter.

Dr. Kathleen, who works out of Penticton, knows that parental alienation is a scary thing for children and offered a Twitter Chat at lunch yesterday (Feb 1) to help heal alienated families. Her topic was Therapist Alienation, which is a problem that happens when inexperienced professionals involved in parental alienation side with the aligning parent - a problem similar to the third party involvement in alignments we have seen in Abbotsford. The only other person I have ever seen run a Twitter Chat was the Minister of Education. So not only is Dr. Kathleen an alienation expert, but she's also technology savvy too. I hope this knowledgeable alienation professional from our own province is able to help children.

I started out to write a blog listing as many Leaders in the the War against Alienation as I knew. I was motivated by this 2009 video about the Canadian Synposium on PAS, which lists some experts I don't know. There were two other inspiring points about this conference, first 2,000 lawyers from around North America attended, billed as the most important educational conference ever organized. Second, the now-famous Florida parental alienation trials had just finished up then, and one of the lawyers interviewed about the 2009 conference said those new Florida custody laws would be coming to Canada. It's 2012 now, and I don't see anything like the Florida family laws yet. A couple days ago on Facebook, Jean-Paul from France, cited Scandinavian countries for having family laws that protect children from alienation. Here in Abbotsford, we see school, courts and mental health professionals ignoring parental alienation and by their inaction participating in this epidemic abuse. This situation leaves the Harper government legally exposed because it has promised through the United Nations Convenant of the Child to protect children, not ignore them.

In Alberta, Premier Redford has been winning the war against the Oil Sands by shutting down the us-vs-Ottawa, us-versus-them campaign and switching to a How-Can-We-Work-Together Campaign. For parents, trying to partner with such intransigent groups as teachers and family court judges will be difficult, but perhaps not impossible. The University of the Fraser Valley is trying to start up a Paralegal Course, because employment counsellors predict we will need 130,000 social workers and paralegals in the south Fraser River area over the next decade to deal with the parental alienation epidemic. To a dad, like me, this just means the status quo of legal professionals taking money from parents that our children need to deal with an iatrogenic disease - a government-created disease. At least Dr. Kathleen is taking us into a really important discussion that we need to have about healing our children to protect our future.

Last year 22 nations participated in the 6th Annual International Parental Alienation & Bubbles of Love Day. Only 84 days left till the 7th Annual International Parental Alienation Event.

Broken School Communications

Just A Dad From Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

Aligning Parents Target Schools

The Municipal Elections: No Change

On Jill Egizii's Parental Alienation Radio podcast this month the point was made by dad and lawyer, Brian Ludmer, that the most common trait to all aligning parents is that they want to be the only contact name on the school records. I didn't have to listen to this radio broadcast twice to jump out of my seat at finally hearing some expert say it out loud.

Here in British Columbia, last September it took months to get students registered for school (K-12) because of our broken school database, called BCeSIS, which probably stands for something like British Columbia electronic School Information System. At any rate, teachers say this software is slow and doesn't allow schools to add or update student information, which is the whole purpose of the software. When you add to this software malfunction, the fact that the 80% of divorced parents are actively trying to conceal student information, you end up with a recipe for child abuse. Until now I believed the parental alienation incidence rate was 25%, but Brian points out that Dr. Amy Baker has set the incidence rate at 80%. I also found an article by the American Bar Association that also sets the prevalence rate at 80%. Aligning parents don't believe they are abusing if they simply forget to mention to school staff that they are divorced, they can claim they didn't think it was important, or the other parent can mention it if they want.

In the first article about Jill and Brian's broadcast, entitled Too Much Discussion To Be Unaware, I have already mentioned Brian's list of possible motivators, causing a parent to alienate a child even with all of the information out there about how damaging it is to children. At first only female parents aligned their children against their own family, then the problem grew until half aligning parents were male. Now we are starting to see other adults join in this abuse. I believe that teaching is an honourable profession and teachers are motivated to stand up for children. I hope we are going to see BC teachers actively fighting to save Middle school children from this growing epidemic that hurts kids in so many ways - and in some ways doctors probably don't even know about yet. Our Education Minister, George Abbott, expects schools to receive new database software by 2014. By then, we will have had two years with our new parent communication technologies and hopefully all divorced parents in Abbotsford will be receiving report cards by email and automated daily attendance reports by telephone. Because teachers care about children, they need to protect our schools and our future by protecting the parent-child relationship.

Last year 22 nations participated in the 6th Annual International Parental Alienation & Bubbles of Love Day. Only 86 days left till the 7th Annual International Parental Alienation Event.

A List of Parental Alienation Experts

This is Dr. Richard Gardner and Vancouver dad and lawyer, Carey Linde, working on an old parental alienation case. Dr. Gardner was a respected scientist and history has upheld his legacy.

Dr. Kathleen Reay is a respected parental alienation expert, working out of Penticton, British Columbia. She is a clinician, researcher, child custody evaluator, litigation-related PA/PAS expert, speaker and author of Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents. Dr. Reay consults with parents, grandparents, step-parents, mental health professionals and legal professionals globally. She is the Founder and Director of the International Institute for Parental Alienation Studies, Vancouver, B.C.

I first heard Brian on Jill Egizii's radio show. 

Here's Mr. Ludmer's credentials: 

Brian Ludmer, B. Comm., LLB.,

Barrister & Solicitor, Toronto, Ont.

PAS Legal Expert & North American PAS Legal Consultant

Jill Egizii is an alienated mom and an author, working out of Leland Grove, Illinois, USA. Judge Michele F. Lowrance has spent 20 years as a domestic-relations lawyer and has been a domestic-relations judge in the Circuit Court of Cook County, and is the author of the Good Karma Divorce.

Dr. Warshak is a psychologist and author of Divorce Poison: How To Protect Your Family From Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing, now in its 24th printing, and co-author of the critically acclaimed DVD for children and parents, Welcome Back, Pluto: Understanding, Preventing, and Overcoming Parental Alienation.

Dr. Joshua Coleman is Co-Chair of the Council on Contemporary Families and is a psychologist with a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area.




This page is under development, and there are many other names to add, but here is the list of other famous names from the Conference video. Dr. Michael Bone has sent me a few pages that were very helpful. Many of the other doctors quote Amy J.L. Baker's work among other game-changers.

1. Demosthenes Lorandos
2. Pamela Richardson
3. Amy J.L. Baker
4. J. Michael Bone
5. Jane Major
6. Richard Sauber
7. Terence Campbell
8. Douglas Darnell
9. Dr. Glenn Ross Caddy
10. Abraham Worenklein
11. Gene Colman
12. Anne-France Goldwater
13. Pamela Stuart-Mills Hoch
14. Bob Hoch
15. David L. Levy
16. Michael Gough
17. C. Gwendolyn Landolt
18. Susan Cook
19. Dr. Marty McKay
20. Godfrey T.A. Turnbull
21. Bob Finlay

Jill Egizii Jan 25, 2012

Just A Dad From Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

Too Much Discussion To Be Unaware

Never, never, never give up!

On Jill Egizii's Parental Alienation Radio podcast this month the question was asked, "What is it that causes a parent to alienate a child with all of the information out there about how damaging it is to children?" Toronto divorced dad and lawyer, Brian Ludmer, says adults who align children against their own family are driven by different things. When you go to court, try to find out what is making your co-parent want to align your children. Whatever the cause, they are being driven by forces that are probably not amenable to moral persuasion or education. There is so much material out there in every country around the world, that it is getting tougher and tougher for anyone to say they were unaware - but that doesn't mean they will stop. They really only understand the use of power.

Here are Brian's five possible motivators for alienators. They're afraid of sharing the children. Maybe they're just out and out angry. Maybe they want child support and a preponderance of parenting time. Maybe they get married and give the kids to the new step-parent. They probably view the targeted parent as a danger to them and they are unable to see the children as anything but an extension of themselves, therefore the targeted parent must be a danger to their children. They have a poor view of the targeted parent and are protecting their children. They often have their own reality, that we can't reach.

Brian gave incredible advice about parental alienation. If you are a targeted parent, you will find hope and legal advice by listening to the radio show linked at the bottom of this post. Here are my three favorite tidbits. There are 5-10 major developmental tasks of a child that are not happening in this state of parental alienation. If there was bonding between 3-7 years, then there still is bonding, but they're confused, and trapped. You can still reach them. They're conflicted, and not acting rationally, but the love is not gone. These children are being ripped apart and do not have a healthy future.

Professor Ed Kruk of the University of British Columbia has found the minimum parenting time required to prevent marginalization to be forty percent! These are lifetime memories that the alienating parent is conspiring to take away from their child.

The best thing you can do is reconnect with your children. The worst thing that can happen is you never try.

www.blogtalkradio.com

Last year 22 nations participated in the 6th Annual International Parental Alienation & Bubbles of Love Day. Only 89 days left till the 7th Annual International Parental Alienation Event.

It's A Sham

Just A Dad From Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

Forget Family Court, If You Can

Dads can't fly & Family Law can't be reformed.  

Here's a novel idea. Is B.C.'s new Family Law Act a sham? Haven't we been trying to reform Canadian family law since 1998 now? In both Canada and the U.S. we have seen powerful forces come out to fight against family law reform.

In the U.S., the bar associations of all 50 states have lobbied against family law reform because it will decrease lawyer's pay cheques - possibly considerable. In Canada, B.C. is the only province to even talk about the problem, but passes a law that changes nothing. There are no parent coordinators yet, and most Canadians have never heard the term. Many laws surrounding family law, like the School Act have changed, but even though everyone is talking about education, no one is talking about how schools characterize and exclude parents. I tried to learn more about Parent Coordinators for this article, and this was the response:

Thank you for your interest in the BC Parenting Coordinators Roster Society. A member of the Board of Directors will respond to your question or concern within 5 business days. - BC PARENTING COORDINATOR ROSTER SOCIETY www.bcparentingcoordinators.com

Mr. Pedersen, Both parties are required to sign a contract of engagement for a Parenting Coordinator. You will be able to find a Parenting Coordinator who is accepting cases now. The Contract will require both parties to provide retainers generally of $4000 each. Robert Colby R. Psych

Do feminists fight against family law reform? Well, in the U.S. the National Organization of Women(NOW) for years argued that parental alienation was junk science, and something men created to get out of paying child support. But recently, with women being the targets of parental alienation in almost half the cases, some women's groups have joined with men's groups to fight against this huge problem. Under harsh criticism for denigrating boys, women's groups have also joined with men's groups to protect boys from the stereotype of violent brutish men. While the family court system in general is biased against fathers, there are fathers who have learned how to work the system against mothers, and use it to their unjust advantage. When this occurs, men's groups are on the side of the mother whose loving bonds with her children are being endangered. Finally, many individual women have realized that children really do need their fathers for healthy development and are starting to avoid the corrupt family court all together, where we all expect children will be harmed greatly for some years to come yet.

Having lawyers who know how to heal children from parental alienation but refuse to do it because it might mean the end of courthouses, is like having doctors who know how to heal children from cancer but refuse to do so, because it might mean the end of hospitals. Does that sound like a sham to you?

Last year 22 nations participated in the 6th Annual International Parental Alienation & Bubbles of Love Day. Only 89 days left till the 7th Annual International Parental Alienation Awareness Day.

Au Canada Nous Sommes Tous Cœur De Bois * In Canada We Are All Métis

Une Histoire de Kidnapping Accidentel * The Accidental Kidnapping

Il est impossible de dire qui est métis, à moins que vous arrivés de France aujourd'hui. Beaucoup, et l'on dit, tous les Canadiens ont un peu de sang autochtone en eux. Le Canada a été jeune et nos registres sont incomplets.

Le district scolaire d'Abbotsford gagne de l'argent supplémentaire par le gouvernement provincial pour aider les étudiants des Premières Nations. Par conséquent, les enseignants sont désireux de trouver des étudiants des Premières nations. Soudain, les enfants du divorce sont sortis de l'école pour les anciens des Premières Nations, même si leur vrai père habite juste à côté. Les anciens des Premières Nations enseignent à l'enfant pecher, mais le vrai père n'autorise pas à enseigner à son propre enfant.

Comme société, nous avons construit des barrières insurmontables qui empêchent les pères de s'impliquer dans la vie de leurs enfants et leurs familles.
*************************************************************************

(and again in English)

It is impossible to tell which Canadians are Metis, unless you just arrived from France today. Many, and some say, all Canadians have some aboriginal blood in them. Canada was young & our records are incomplete.

The Abbotsford School District receives extra money from the provincial government to help First Nations students. Therefore, teachers are eager to find First Nations students. Suddenly children of divorce are taken out of school to the First Nations elders, even if Dad lives across the street from the school. The First Nations elders teach the child to fish, but Dad is alienated.

As a society, we have created nearly insurmontable barriers that prevent fathers from being involved in the lives of their children and their families.